tired

shall split today's blogging into two entries...project timothy learnings and the happenings of the day... was late for school today...woke up at 6.48 can...but i've been totally exhausted for the past two days...the only reason i still went for school today is the heats...the first thing that came to mind was "shoots, i need to get to school for spe to take part in the heats"...first up was 12x100m in which our class came in first :) :) cheers!!then 4x100m where i made a fatal mistake of not passing to qk properly...sighs...but we still came in second thanks to hy n s who chiong-ed their hearts out :) no jogging today...hahas...GOOD JOB PEOPLE!!!the guys ran well today too!!!no walking at the last bit, everyone just ran wholeheartedly :) ok...just let the cat out of the bag that i've been exhausted...project timothy days kind of killed me because i have to go off early from training and rush down to dhoby gaut...it's like i have to bring a few sets of clothes to school, lug them around, go for training, end early, change out, rush to dhoby gaut and go straight for project timothy...after project timothy ends at like 9.30??, go for dinner and go home while still lugging my heavy bag and shoebag...reached home on tuesday at 11pm...amazingly managed to wake up at 4am...wednesday (i think i was exhausted already) reached home at 11.30pm...and slept till 6.48am this morning :) ok...i desperately need the rest...for me to be energized on saturday and sunday...having national juniors this weekend :) ==> not going for church...will miss my dear brothers and sisters...the only reason i'm still online is that i have to send out various mails and also prepare for coursework!!if not, i'll die for this coursework...shoots...kz...shall start on the mails before the next entry...

put down your armour

shall blog about what i learnt from sermon yesterday first: topic: PUT DOWN YOUR ARMOUR!! 1. i am what i am given (as a baby) - too little love will result in self-disrespect - love just right will result in self-confidence - too much love will result in a world centred around me 2. i am what i will - the amount of self-discipline i have determines what my life 3. i am what i imagine - my ambition, the occupation i want to be 4. i am what i learn 5. i am what i choose to be to be a complete person, we need to seek the original image of man which is Christ. only when we nail the "old me" on the cross can i allow Christ to live in me and become the "new me" :) 6. i am what my surroundings are - our parents, our family, our teachers... HOWEVER, our surroundings is this world, which is filled with sin... no matter how much we try to protect another being from getting hurt in this world, no matter how much we try to protect another being from being influenced, we cannot do enough to shield him from the world and its flaws. as a result of the disappointments we face, we often develop our own set of survival skills like escaping, or just laughing it off..this defence will become a part of us so naturally that even as we desire to remove it, we are afraid of the disappointments we may once again face as in the past. solution: accept ourselves, then accept Jesus' perfect love for us everything yesterday seemed to be specifically for me, as though God is telling me "it's time to put down your past"...and i have decided to put it all down and follow Him without any cages in my life :) yay!!! wrote three letters today, to him, him and him...hahas...during maths lecture and tutorial... kz...going for project timothy tomorrow under the sponsorship of my mom :) i have great parents :) thank you Lord...

maths test tmw!!!

ya...as my title says, got a maths test tmw...on complex numbers and vectors...giving up on vectors...think what i'm anticipating more is the maths s paper selection test results...wonder if mr c has finished marking them...hopefully yes so we can decide on the subjects to register or ba...registering for 'a' levels on tuesday...if i get in for maths s, then nothing to say lor...take 4 'a's and 2 's's...but according to bb, you don't need s papers for a local scholarship...so should i consider dropping s papers??physics quite waste time...and i think i'll start dying for further maths 'a' level soon enough...ok...looks like programming :p --> case 2: i don't get through...honestly have no idea what to do eh...physics s paper tutorials are still interesting...speaking of physics s paper tutorials...i fell asleep during lesson today...right in front of the teacher...then he (amazingly remembered my name and) said "grace, so tired arh...fall asleep ready"...from what i remember, he was at the same question as before i fell asleep...but he's a cute teacher!!!hehe...after the (refreshing) nap, i was wide awake!!!still not really any mood to study lar...but ok lor...then he gave me and the only other girl from s27 taking physics s a question to present upon seeing that i had started talking to her...sighs...don't know which is better...felt seriously blissful today when i ate the icecream...was just smiling to myself with the people around me looking at me with weird eyes...hahas...but i seriously felt contented and GOOD!! shall go sleep le...else tomorrow no energy to focus on the maths test....nights!!!

roller coaster ride

yesterday and today have been like a roller coaster ride... yesterday: in the morning, mrs v spent like half a period checking our blouses, getting us to remove the drawstrings and tucking in...it only worked until after break when our drawstrings reappeared in our blouses!!!hahas :p anyways, the other half of the period was spent with me, qk n p sitting in front of the entire class sharing what in our life allowed us to score 'a's...just realised that our class is doing quite badly...sighs...anyways, had training after school as usual...we picked our jersey colours!!!!black and orange...it was supposed to be the choice of the exco but the entire yr 2 team picked together...hahas...thought we were going to get 2 different designs but we're not!!!we're getting 2 sets of the same design....disappointing...hahas...during training, had loads of coordination problems....had a talk after training...it was saddening...but don't worry :) i've recovered!!! :) :) was messaging mr c after that...he's a really good teacher...he should become an educator of the educators in tpjc...hahas...sent me a short online message just now about training...hahas...was really laughing when i saw his message...and the thing is, he sms-ed me to tell me he sent me an online message!!!so cute...hahas...and i was laughing as i read his message...conclusion: he's a fine educator...o ya...i'm getting a new paddle!!!!yay!!!! today: nothing really special about today ba...hy told mr c that i've finished geometric distribution...sighs...she and her loudness...mrs v asked her to keep her volume down lar...so cute :) anyways, was reading a time's article just now about the stressing of children nowadays...and i can only say that i'm lucky to be born into this family, with these parents, at this time...mom seems to keep thinking that she doesn't give me enough stress...but i'm perfectly happy with my life now!!! *afraid that she would start stressing me out* arghs... back to work...

the bronze snake

Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes in Him may have eternal life.

-John 3:13-14

it may seem ridiculous to be saved by just simply believing that Jesus died for me on the cross. doesn't seem even more ridiculous if you were bitten by a snake and just have to look at a lifeless bronze snake to be healed?but the Israelites did get saved after looking at the bronze snake. the same goes for us. we just need to believe that the simple cross can save us :)

maths lesson??no!!!!!

sposed to have maths remedial today...well...the rest are having maths remedial...but i have decided to pon it...seriously don't find maths lessons of any use other than the notes and tutorial sheets they give...actually am all geared up to go for it...just that it's too late now and i seriously don't feel like walking into the lt with s27 staring and mr c don't know doing what...yesterday, i actually napped from 5.30 all the way till 9pm...for the past two days, i told my mom i'll be having dinner out...but i have been going home for dinner...hahas...nothing much has been happening ba... :) ciaoz...

bro in tekong

another big thing that recently happened....brother went to army!!!!so vain can..he actually went to specially cut off all his hair reason being that he's afraid that the army people might anyhow cut...like how anyhow cut can they get???its just making u botak lar...there's only more botak and less botak...bet the hairdresser must have had a hard time clearing up all his hair...anyway he went tekong...will be staying there for a total of 3 months but he'll be coming back after 2 weeks...guess i definitely won't be the one missing him the most given that i've become used to his non-existence in my life...like hello...i see him fortnightly???and i think i talk to him like one sentence every month or something lor...the day he came back botak i just didn't recognise him at all lor...was wondering what a stranger was doing at my doorstep in front of my mom...actually have a lot of things to say about him and her but shan't leak anything here...they seem to be teaching me the wrong moral values...shan't comment....hope bro becomes fitter...hope he slims down, hope his fats get burnt off...hope he learns to become more disciplined.... played pool yesterday with 4 and i --> a person's initial...stupid male chauvinists...hate that attitude man...

adriano's in!!!!

hahas....simply elated because adriano's in :) his performance was disappointing indeed but its still entertaining....with his funny antics and facial expressions.... having double training tomorrow because i want to train with my teammates and with my partner as well...hahas...shall not include the details... haven't been coming online quite so often...been quite glued to the tv for the past few days...had the da chang jing advertisement played in front of me so many many many times...meeting j on friday :) back to mugging man...had physics s paper lesson this morning...mr y ended early at 11.30 so i went home before going back to school for maths extra lesson at 1.30...he was late as usual...me, p, hy n xy left halfway (just blatantly walked out of the lecture theatre) to go to 7-11 opposite to get food...ate cup noodles there...wanted to get a piglet badge there...but not so lucky...got this stupid simba which i don't like at all...hy took it...then walked back slowly...after maths lecture tutorial, took maths s paper selection test....almost got chased out of school by the aunty locking up lar...wonders why...finished another chapter of mechanics :) maybe its time to start on the assignments...but i have no motivation to do that but i would rather go on learning new stuff and completing new chapters...hmm...shall decide tomorrow...actually don't know what to say liao...just hope adriano will continue to stay in the comp and fare much much better in all the shows to come :) jia you jia you!!! should be going back to Him....sighs... :) byes...

dilemmas filling my head

today had gym training as usual...as usual, blur me walked into the stupid seat handles a dozen times...once i used too much force to walk and i think i injured my right ankle...slightly swollen...and when i press it's like super pain lar...but now better liao...hope it'll recover so tmw i can row properly :) actually am in a dilemma...one side of me tells me to train hard, to become stronger, to fight all the way...the other side tells me to stop training and watch out for and ugly figure...sighs... o man...i can't believe it...weighed myself just now because hj asked me to guess his weight...and i got the shock of my life!!!because the weighing scale said 50kg!!!which means im back to the weight that i was when i just entered this school!!!which means im super light for my height now!!!think i know the reason...been trying to spend only 2 dollars on food in school these few days, resulting in me only eating mommy's breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday...and my appetite for dinner never seems to be good, leading to a drastic drop in my weight....don't know to be happy or sad... yet another dilemma is that i don't know if i should consider quitting kayaking before the nationals...shouldn't say anymore regarding this lest i leak out secrets...but quite sad actually...sighs...how????

gp

just here to blog about something making me very sad and stressed???don't know what it feels like to be stressed... what are languages for???to me, it is for us to communicate with one another...this means that as long as others understand u, u're fine... can all of u stop making me feel like my gp grade is f9???can all of you stop making me feel like other people don't even understand what i'm trying to tell them???can all of you stop making me feel like my world will fall in on me just because i don't ace gp??? teared during physics lab...thanks to mrs v who keeps saying that she's making me do extra work because she wants me to do well for gp as well...i know that she has my interests at heart and wants me to be joyful when i receive my 'a' level results...i know that she doesn't want me to have to face a result slip with a outstanding gp grade...but could she please open up her eyes and look around the class and stop picking on me??? dear mom, i know u have my interests at heart too...i can feel it...but it's not helping that you harp on it everyday...could you please become more knowledgeable and go read up on the university entry and scholarship requirements and stop being so ignorant???it has gotten on my nerves multiple times and sometimes, i just don't feel like talking to you about school-related things thanks to your ignorance...i don't think i'll ever talk to you about school-related things anymore...sometimes, i even feel like ignoring you once you start on the subject... is it that they are making a big fuss out of nothing or is it just that i've become complacent?? what exactly does it feel like to be stressed??shall go eat my chocolates and destress over them...at least they won't remind me of gp... Lord, please humble me as i learn Your ways at the time You want me to...

emptiness

forgive me....supposed to be doing gp comprehension now...and i still have an essay to rush but the sudden rush of emotions just leads me to this site... praise the Lord man!!!for You are a good God...leading me through the worship on sunday, and just allowing my family to have a good time with grandma and giving me a strong and healthy grandma...who i'm proud to announce is 89!!!God, please give her a long life to enjoy k...and also let her become part of this big family of Yours... today was saddening...j, please take good care of yourself k...continue to stand firm in His Word k...He is faithful no matter what happens around us... shant say anymore...bye Light of the World You stepped down into darkness opened my eyes, let me see beauty that made this heart adore You hope of a life spent with You so here i am to worship here i am to bow down here i am to say that You're my God You're altogether lovely, altogether worthy altogether wonderful to me King of all days o so highly exalted glorious in heaven above humbly You came to the earth You created all for love's sake became poor so here i am to worship here i am to bow down here i am to say that You're my God You're altogether lovely, altogether worthy altogether wonderful to me i'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that Cross i'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that Cross ~here i am to worship

pure exhaustion

yesterday (aka thursday) was physics test...did a simple part of a question wrong...bad news man...got gp test later...will be going for pool before that...and after that will have training and most probably going orchard for dinner... physics test...was blur and thought that it was on friday...original plan: start studying on wednesday...luckily i found out on tuesday it's on thursday so i started studying on tuesday...covered waves and oscillations...then wednesday was a tiring day and i didn't touch physics at all...thursday woke up at 7, walked to bus stop just in time to watch the bus leave without stopping...sat at bus stop and finished superposition, ideal gases and thermodynamics...amazing huh...hahas...went school for gym, bathed and walked from canteen to j block, sat there only to realise that mr goh is using our "classroom"...called ms lim and another woman called back using her phone...and the woman knew my name!!weirdness...anyway, the three of us trooped back from j block to b207 only to see mr c happily sitting in the control room, apparently not concerned that we were like 15 minutes late for lesson???and he wasted so much lesson time figuring out his computer things and basically not talking much sense...so i revised my physics again...was fallin asleep by the end of cs...thought i would sleep through the physics test lar...hahas... after school was physics s tutorial...a new teacher came...initials being ykh...never see him before one lor...and his outfit today look like a secondary school uniform...hahas...he wanted me to present lar...but i told him i not supposed to present because im not in any group...hahas...so i just sat there...was a bit stony...but i guess i quite like him after all...given that he allows us to not listen to him explain and do our own stuff if we know and understand whatever he's explaining...hahas... this week was just exhausting...no idea why but it just seems to boil down to all canoeing and having lessons...note i said having lessons and not studying...o ya...got back chinese ao...don't know if i should be happy or sad...got a2...mom was apparently happy since i improved from b3 to a2...but it was still a drop from promos after all...maybe just because i didn't work hard at all for it...sighs...shall not commit the same mistake with my 'a's...cant afford to screw it all up...was watching the p announce the top scorers and stuff...and i realised there's this burning desire in me to be one of the few names mentioned next year...one of those to be recorded down in tpjc history but not leaving any mark in the eternal kingdom...why???guess i've been pretty occupied with gaining worldly fame ba...forgive me...need to find back the right motivation to study, to glorify His name, to let His name be upon everyone's lips one day... on tuesday, we didn't have training because mr a was on childcare leave...we went out to watch final destination 3 and i realised that i have become more sadistic...was actually laughing at the people dying...but u do know that it is all just a film and not real life ma...hy laughed throughout the show and couldn't stop herself until like 30 min later...the next day, she was recalling all the different "modes to death", doing the actions from across the classroom during maths tutorial... she watched it again just now (thursday) with the girls + c, j and p while i was having physics s...went to meet her for dinner... kkz...shall go for my beauty sleep liao...lest i be late again tomorrow...but before i go, congrats to sm :) :) for doing well for your 'a's :) nights....